


Candy Coated Diamonds are a Clowns Best Friend

by Ficker



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sgrub Session, Alternate Universe - Reverse Petstuck (Homestuck), Canon-Typical Violence, Conscription, Dubcon or Noncon Moirallegiance, Kidnapping, M/M, Multi, Non-Sexual Slavery, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sober Gamzee Makara, humans as pets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:27:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24892381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ficker/pseuds/Ficker
Summary: Gamzee gets aHEATHENISTICmessage from one of those new aliens called 'human beings' and it causes him to have a crisis of faith.He doesn't know what to do, other then track down his best friend and moirailin personand get their chat onIN PERSONfor the first time ever.This leads him down the path to a lot of discoveries.Karbro has aDEADLYbut miraculous secret. He has a living ancestor whoWANTS HIM BADLY!Themessiahs have aMOTHER FUCKING PLAN FOR HIMand...Humansmake the best and most soothing pale pets in the whole galaxy.
Relationships: Gamzee Makara & Dave Strider, Gamzee Makara & Karkat Vantas, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29





	1. To Karkats, to Karkats, we go.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it. If you have thoughts or suggestions, please let me know.

**-Enter: Gamzee-** **  
**  
_It had been a crisis of faith that led to his biggest realization. A truly miraculous event. Without that lapse, he’d have stayed blind to the truth and OH DAMN mother fucker DID HE SEE THE TRUTH NOW!_ _  
__  
__The Messias had sent that fucking HEATHENISTIC LITTLE worm to spiel those toxic lies at him, so he could GET HIS UNDERSTAND ON._ _  
__  
__  
__It was one of those UGLY ASS new creatures, the ones that Solbro had up and connected them all too when their planet had been_ ** _found_** _. ONE OF THEM was who’d sent him the most SACRILEGIOUS SHIT._ _  
__  
__The FALSE images still made his vascular system boil underneath his exoshell. But, the lies had led to him stopping his poisoning his own pan._ _  
__  
__The withdrawal had led to the shakes. The shakes had led to the images and the voices. Those whispers had been all up inside him, tearing through his past beliefs, causing him pain and visions of all his friends with their wicked elixirs spread over the sands outside his hive._ _  
__  
__Gamzee hadn’t known how to take the thoughts. The thoughts had caused him to go and seek out his GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING MOIRAIL! But online didn’t do it. Didn’t feel right. That’s what motherfuckers did when they were all TWISTED INSIDE. Right?_ _  
__  
__  
__Karbro was his MOTHER FUCKING MOIRAIL… But, he’d never met Karbro in the flesh before._ _  
__  
__It hadn’t been all that up and hard to track his best friends ENIGMATIC ass down._ _  
__  
__He’d known someone that was good at finding things and keeping quiet after all, and he had more money than he’d ever use._ _  
__  
__After some amount of caegars had exchanged hands, that weird ass cerulean sister had given him an address, and he had been on his MERRY FUCKING way._ _  
__  
_ Gamzee was not sure what he was gonna do, but the urge inside him to touch another mother fucker for ONCE IN HIS MIRTH DEPRIVED LIFE and do all those things he’d watched in the pale romance DVDs Karbro sent him had been all and unbearable. It’d felt like his blood pusher was BEING CRUSHED BY A BLUE BLOOD.  
  
Gamzee had video chatted with the gray text fool many a time and seen his poster covered respiteblock walls, of course, but he hadn’t ever seen no neighborhood like the one his best friend lived in.   
  
It was a somber and drab place and it made his skin feel all dry and dirty.   
  
Now that he was thinking about it, those walls up in his best bros feed had looked like crap.   
  
The hives he was passing were tiny, cheap and _decrepit._ He’d passed more than a few that had been flattened, burned down or just FUCKING FALLEN APART.   
  
The hive-brohood was in the middle of SHIT-HIVE NOWHERE too, and for a moment he’d wondered if that SPIDER BITCH had sent him to the place as a sick joke. But he trudged on. Turning back now would be no different from checking the address then doing it. Sides, he didn’t know if she was trying to yank on his fucking horns yet.   
  
But, if not for a single scared Rust blood, with their REAL ugly ass blood who had attempted to run away from him, he’d have thought the area dead. NONE of the lights had been on in the gross hives-slums so close to dawn.   
  
Eventually he came to a hive that was at the very edge of the whole place. It had the numbers Vriska wrote on its door.   
  
Small and quiet. Gamzee didn’t like the way it made him feel. _“WRONG. MOTHER FUCKING WRONG. KARBRO. Maybe this ain’t even his hive. IF IT IS, HE WON’T BE FUCKING STAYING. Karbro is big. Too big for this. FAR TO MOTHER FUCKING BIG”._   
  
Gamzee wanted Karkat to be inside, so he could get his bro to up and pap his face and make all the voices go quiet again. But fuck… what if Karkat was a **rust**. That was worse than a **SHIT BLOOD**. _“Mother fuckers can’t control what blood they all get up inside them. BUT THEY CAN MAKE MIRACULOUS PAINT”._   
  
It didn't matter who was inside. Gamzee was gonna go into the hive. The door was grabbed, and he literally wrenched it off, before tossing the door to the side. It went flying and hit the hive across the street. There was a crash that he ignored.   
  
The sight of dawn on the horizon line didn’t deter him at all. Worse comes to worst. He’d paint the day away, before going and getting a nice shade of CERULEAN TO ADD.   
  
“WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK? SHIT, FUCK.”   
  
That was KARBRO’S VOICE!  
  
Then there was a small form coming out from the side. Must have been a hallway or some shit. Behind him, Gamzee could see a lusus.   
  
Karkat was holding the sickles that he’d told Gamzee all about. But he didn’t even raise the club that he’d been keeping over his left shoulder.   
  
“Best friend. I MOTHER FUCKING FOUND YOU!”   
  
Karkat was looking up at him. Damn the guy was a revelation in lack of height. The perfect size for holding all close like.   
  
“Fucking hell… Gamzee?! What… What ARE YOU DOING HERE? DID… HOW… WHAT?!” His face looked confused and the sickles were being lowered. Gamzee took his shot and stepped forward as fast as he could, before grabbing his moirail tight, right over his arms.   
  
“Best friend. I COULDN’T TAKE IT ANOTHER FUCKING SECOND. I need you”. The troll wasn’t blind to the pleading in his own voice, spilling out and filling the open space inside the block between them.   
  
The form in his arms was warm, so fucking warm… It was glorious and Gamzee wanted to crawl up inside him and wear the other like a suit. But then he noticed, Karkat wasn’t hugging him back and his hands were still on those weapons.   
  
That was something he COULDN’T UP AN ABIDE. “... Karbro. Drop your MOTHERFUCKING SICKLES OR I’LL MAKE YOU”.   
  
He felt it as those muscles relaxed and heard it as the weapons fell to the floor. “We gonna pile now bro”. He lifted his moirail, putting him under one arm and grabbing his club and looked around. The lusus seemed confused, but it didn’t seem like it was gonna attack. That was good, because killing it would probably piss off his best friend something bad. There were no piles in the bar ass entry block.   
  
“WAIT! Gamzee. Put me down. I… I can FUCKING walk. GO GET MY DOOR. FUCK. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Look. This is TOO FUCKING WEIRD. JUST… Put me down and give me a minute AT LEAST! SOMEONE IS GONNA TAKE MY FUCKING DOOR!”   
  
Gamzee carried his bro down the hallway the other had come out of and walked a few steps until he came to the open door at the end. The other door must be his ablution block.   
  
Everything in his respiteblock was worn and crappy looking. Karkat was still talking, or shouting out some shit. There was NOTHING TO PILE IN HERE EITHER!   
  
He reached up and put a hand over Karbro’s squawk gaper. “Motherfucker. Where are your piles?” Again, he started to wonder if he was a rust blood. There was NOTHING MIRACULOUS ABOUT HIS MOIRAIL BEING A MOTHER FUCKING **_DAY FLY_**. Just the idea that his bro might already be done with 1/4th of his life span… It was unbearable.   
  
Karkat was silent for a long moment, looking ashen in the face. It was then that Gamzee remembered to remove his hand “... I have a lounge-plank in my relaxation block. I don’t have any piles…”   
  
That was all shades of wrong. Gamzee couldn’t help it. He lifted his bro more, so he was holding him like a wiggler and not like a board. He just wanted to give the tiny, plain troll all of the motherfucking attention and pale feelings that were welling inside. Trying to claw their way from his organ cage.   
  
“Alright. We can up and get our motherfucking chat on there”. The small, hot form in his arms had settled some and Karkat seemed to just nod. “Alright. I got some DVDs…” That was shit Gamzee knew WELL!  
  
When they got to the relaxation block, Gamzee noticed it was attached to the meal block and that the dawn was leaking into the room. It was also the same room as the entry block, something he hadn’t noticed before. The purple blood set his best bro down on the scraggly ass lounge-plank, before going and swooping up those sickles. He attached them to his belt. “I am gonna get the mother fucking door for you now Karbro. Pick a show for us. You know all what I like”.   
  
Once he’d gotten the door, only getting the slightest bit of sting on his exoshell from the suns still sufferable sting, and set it to block the light, the husk-box had a video playing.   
  
Karbro was also waiting for him, looking all small, curled up on one end of that couch. “You ready for this bro?” Gamzee didn’t actually wait for a response and instead sat REAL close to his Karbro.   
  
They got their cuddle on and it was nice. Even if Karkat didn’t seem to be able to relax. Gamzee pulled the small troll into his lap after the DVD was half over. Just being around his moirail and existing up with him was soothing his urges something fierce. “Hey! What?! Gamzee... PUT ME DOWN!”   
  
He hugged him tight and reached up to touch those stubby little horns. The way Karbro shivered under his touch, all over his body was hella nice.   
  
“Eh… St-top. Gam-zee! Fucking… stop it bulge mucher!” Those small, hot hands came to try and up and grab at his own. To MAKE him let them motherfucking go. That wasn’t no fun though. _“This fucker just needs to UP AND RELAX REAL FAST. I can help him with that. MAKE SURE HE MOTHER FUCKING GET’S HIS SOOTH ON!”_ Gamzee grabbed the hands and held them tight with one of his own, before going back to stroking. He’d seen pale shit in the DVD’s after all, even if he’d never DONE the real deal.   
  
“Hnn… P-please… st-op! Gamzee-ee… fuck… Gamz-ee… eh…” Those bright yellow and gray eyes were starting to close and Karkat was relaxing already. Gamzee could feel it as he started to relax too. Just the pale act of holding Karkat and stroking his horns was making him wanna trill like a grub to a perspective lusus.   
  
So he did.   
  
The trilling came deep from his chest, and he held his best friend, rubbing those horns and making all the pleasant, pale ass sounds. All instinct like. After a few minutes, Karkat relaxed right up, and he started to echo the sounds. He released the others' hands and nothing happened. _“He’s calmed his shit down. THAT’S CUZ I AM HIS FUCKING MOIRAIL!”_  
  
It was the best feeling in the whole world. Karbro was so soothing and soft and all of the warm. Made all the screamed whispers up in his pan calm THE FUCK DOWN and the touch… it was FUCKING EVERYTHING HE’D EVER WANTED.   
  
He just wanted to hold his moirail forever.   
  
Hours passed and he fell asleep.   
  
Gamzee never did see his best bro’s face in good enough lighting though.   
  
**-Enter: Karkat-** **  
**  
The first thing Karkat noticed as he started to come around was that something cool feeling was MOTHER FUCKING breathing underneath him. Like some sort of living LOUNGE PLANK! Only, he didn’t have a living lounge plank and if anyone did… well, that was really a fucking monstrosity of a thought.   
  
Not that he’d put it past a specific subset of troll kind. Namely, the cerulean bitches of the universe. But he sure as fuck didn’t approve.   
  
His first natural response was to freeze as opposed to make noise. A reaction that was hard wired into his primordial pan. It was a good thing, because it gave the mutant a few precious seconds for the previous morning to come rushing back to him. Without that instinct, he’d probably have started to scream out like a fat grub being slowly squeezed into sauce.   
  
_Gamzee had broken into his hive._

_ He’d thrown his door across the street.  _

_ He’d made him drop his weapons.  _

_ He’d pulled him into his lap and… He’d stroked his horns. _ _  
_ _  
_ Karkat could feel it as he started to flush. Because that had felt WAY too good and had been entirely unexpected.    
  
Karkat had played with his own horns before. Of course he had! Exploring one's own body was a normal part of growing up and troll puberty! Anyone who said otherwise was a BULGE BRAINED LIAR or just HATCHED FUCKING pan fried.    
  
But when Gamzee had stroked them, it hadn’t felt like his own hands at all. No, having those cool, long fingers brushing from over the sensitive keratin had been devi… But wait… that meant that he was currently ON GAMZEE!    
  
Gamzee FUCKING Makara WAS THE BREATHING LOUNGE PLANK.    
  
That was bad!  _ “SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT MANAVOLENT FORCE DID I FUCKING PISS ON WHEN I WAS A GRUB FOR THIS SHIT TO HAPPEN NOW? DAMN IT”. _ He knew what he looked like when he flushed and it wasn’t like am ALTERNIA DAMNED rust blood.    
  
It was the main reason Karkat always did his best to only feel apathy or anger. Those emotions were safe. That and his lot in life tended to make him  _ PRETTY JUSTIFIABLY PISSED OFF _ . Anger didn’t make trolls flush, though he had read of Black flushing…  _ “NO. NUH-UH. BACK ON TRACK. I AM NOT SOME PAN IDLED CLOWN. I AM JUST ON ONE!” _ Distractions meant death and Karkat still wanted to avoid that for the second half of a sweep of life he still had left.    
  
Conscription was coming, and he wasn’t so stupid he believed he could escape or survive it. No… but he was taking all he could get until then. Besides, it wasn’t like he had the worst lot in life! Or even out of his hatch group.    
  
No, that honor was ALL Sollux’s and Karkat didn’t envy him that. All HE had to do was show up and DIE like a tiny squeak beast.   
  
Sollux had to go and be a FUCKING BATTERY UNTIL HE LITERALLY FRIED HIMSELF.    
  
That precious tidbit of information had been shared with him by the bi-polar Heterochromia iridiumic troll himself, while he was suffering a massive depressive episode. The details of which, that had been spilled to him, were the stuff sopor-less day terrors were made of.    
  
Gamzee, on the other hand, had some pretty DAMN GOOD ODDS of success, even with his FUCKING OBVIOUS ADDICTION. It WASN’T FAIR!   
  
That brought his mind back to the seat of his current issue. The purple blood, currently acting as his reclining receptacle.    
  
Karkat DID have true and honest to Jegus pale feelings for the other. He’d had them for a while. But he also wasn’t so blanched that he believed Gamzee would be able to defy millennia of troll tradition and instinct to overcome the natural desire to purge his mutated fluids from ever entering the incestuous slurry.    
  
He had to get his moirail GONE. Even if he really did like the feeling of that chest rising and falling underneath him and that cool, cool skin. How to get him out was another issue as Karkat didn’t want to wake the other troll.    
  
Karkat could tell from the gaps in his shitty salvaged curtains that the day wasn’t over yet, and he was too freaked to attempt to move. BUT there was also the issue that he really needed to void his bladder.    
  
After several minutes of worrying about it, he heard Gamzee groan and then shift underneath him. That took care of one of the issues. He’d never expected the stoned ass clown to be so intimidating in the flesh. On their calls, Gamzee had always seemed really, REALLY fucking doppy. TO A DISTURBING LEVEL.    
  
_ “I COULDN’T TAKE IT ANOTHER FUCKING SECOND. I need you” _ . The words his moirail had spoken the morning before came back to him, and he sighed. Something must have freaked him out.    
  
Karkat felt pity welling up inside of him, like some pulsating geyser of useless emotion. “Evening Gam… Or, at least. I think it’s evening. Fuck. For all I know, it might be fucking MID DAY.” The words spilled out of his gasper, unfiltered, just like practically every other instance where he opened it.    
  
“Hnnn? Karbro… fucking miracles. I… I motherfucking thought I UP and dreamed pulling my sorry ass carapace all the way down to this  **MIRTHLESS** joint”. The chest underneath him started to vibrate with laughter. But something about the waviness of how Gamzee was speaking put Karkat on even more of an edge. The clown had been doing that before too. But never when they’d spoken online.    
  
“Uhh… Yeah. Listen. I need to go and piss… I’ll be right back”. He got up, only to feel a hand reach out and grab his wrist. “Gamzee. Fucking hell! I’m just gonna use my ablution block.” The hand let him go and Karkat went to the aforementioned location using a speed he didn’t think he’d ever used to get there before. Gamzee had looked so lost…    
  
No. That was his  _ get to the hole NOW _ for the Drones speed.    
  
Once there he voided the surplus liquid, before standing in front of the cracked reflective vanity sheet. He could tell by his abnormally prominent dark circles that he’d had a shit ton of day terrors, but for the life of him he couldn’t recall them.    
  
Was that the effect of a moirail? He felt the flush heating up again and shook it off. It couldn't be seen!    
  
There was the sound of a LOUD bang outside, in his relaxation block.  _ “FUCK. WHAT IS HE DOING NOW?!” _ Karkat confirmed the flush was gone, before running out to check.    
  
Gamzee was standing in front of his nourishment storage cells in his connected meal block, gandering at their vast emptiness with a distraught look… holding HALF OF, one of their doors.    
  
Gamzee. What the FUCK DO YOU HAVE AGAINST MY DOORS?!”    
  
Once again Gamzee ignored his words. The fucker didn’t even look sheepish or anything. Instead, he spoke, like Karkat had never uttered a SINGLE CHIRP!   
  
“Karbro. What do you eat?” There was too much fucking pity in that tone. WAY TOO MUCH.    
  
“I hunt, fuck face. I do have some meat in my chilled storage cell. I also have some snacks in my room. Fuck. You think I survive on air or some shit?” Karkat used most of his meager stipend to buy DVDs. It wasn’t a lot anyway, and he could get his own food most of the time. God DAMN! Did Gamzee really think that he was that FUCKING PATHETIC? That… was actually sort of… sweet.    
  
Gamzee was staring at him and his eyes were going wide. “Karbro… what miracles do you got all up inside of you…?”    
  


  
  



	2. Over the planes and through the cities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read my tags. 
> 
> It's a little short. But the next one will be longer. I was having issues getting this out, so hopefully you all like it. Let me know!
> 
> Side note. I do not have a beta. All mistakes are my own.

**-Enter: Gamzee-**

That color his best bro was up and flushing, it wasn’t rust. It was… Gamzee wasn’t 100% sure what it’s name and blood code all was, but he knew that it was mother fucking miracles because it wasn’t no color a troll should up and be having inside them. It reminded him of Kan Sis’s skirt or some shit.    
  
Knowing all about what and why it was so bizarre might take away some of the miracles anyway, so he wasn’t real eager to get his ‘up and know on’ about it.    
  
But, he noticed his moirail-bro was backing away from him, looking like he thought Gamzee was gonna try and rip out his much needed abdominal sac. That wasn’t right. In fact… it was down right offensive and it pissed him the FUCK OFF. It was only the extreme high he was still riding from being with another troll up and personal like that stopped him from blowing off his lid.   
  
“Karbro. You’re not thinking I’m gonna go an spread all your miracles up out of you and onto this shit hives walls, are ya?” He asked moving closer. His tone was rising and falling, something he was aware of. But… he didn’t like that look of fear in his best friend's eyes. IT WAS MOTHER FUCKING SHITTY AND RUDE AS FUCK. He could taste the tempting pungency of that emotion in the air and feel it prickling all over his skin, like tiny needles or a thousand strutted grub’s appendages. “I ain’t never gonna gut you brother. I pity you like no one ever pitied another mother fucker.” He had to make Karbro see… He needed him. He wanted him and… He realised something he hadn’t never understood before. For the entire time they’d been moirails, Karkat had been the one to sooth his beast and calm down the lonely thoughts rattling around in his sopor stuffed pan.    
  
But…    
  
Karkat needed him too. Their moirallegiance was a two way street.    
  
It was then he had his realization.    
  
The Messiah’s had let the human scum send him that shit on PURPOSE. They’d WANTED HIM TO SEE THAT DISGUSTING FALSE IMAGE OF THEIR HOLY FORMS SO HE COULD KNOW THE TRUTH OF HIS BEST BRO.    
  
… so he’d come here and he’d see his Karbro in the BLOOD.    
  
“That there color, up inside you best friend? It’ll get you culled… and I can’t take that bro.” He said, moving forward a few more steps. Karbro lived in a fucking RUST BLOOD HIVE SLUM. This place seemed like THE MOTHER FUCKING HAVEN OF CULLING. The shit hole didn’t even need no drones. Did it all on it’s own like a self sustaining carousel of ugly shades of paint. Though he was sure the drones came and helped it all up and keep spinning. Gotta decrease the low blood population after all. That was something he now understood at a CORE LEVEL.    
  
But Karbro wasn’t no low blood. Nah. HIS mutation wasn’t the same thing. GAMZEE MOTHER FUCKING KNEW THAT and he’d FUCKING CULL ANYONE WHO SAID OTHERWISE.    
  
The color sang to him in a way that made his nerves up and sing of mirth! Some of the voices whispered for him to reach out to touch it. To get it all over himself. Feel it in the flesh… taste it.   
  
He forbade himself that, real fast. Because he wanted that blood to never, ever, turn into the rotten and faded black of the forgotten colors. The decay of dead cells, unpreserved and never retouched.    
  
His moirail, his bro was looking around, and Gamzee knew he was trying to find a way to escape. The little mother fucking MIRACLE STILL DIDN’T FUCKING BELIEVE HE’D NOT UP AND CULL HIM! He’d have to up and FUCKING MAKE HIM BELIEVE IT THEN.    
  
“Karbro. I can see it up in your eyes. You wanna TRY AND ABSCOND. I need you to know that THAT AIN’T ABOUT TO MOTHER FUCKING HAPPEN. You can’t leave me best friend, I WON’T EVER LET YOU MOTHER FUCKING UP AND LEAVE ME. You are my mother fucking moirail.” His tiny mutant bro was starting to shake and he had paled to a less pitiable light ashen, washing away all of that miracle shade. It wouldn’t do.    
  
“Mother fucker. Calm your metaphorical fucking tits. CAN YOU NOT UP AND HEAR ME WITH YOUR TINY FUCKING SOUND HOLES? OR ARE THEY USELESS? I SAID I COULDN’T CULL YOU!” In a flash Gamzee had closed the gap between them and he ignored Karkat’s terror filled scream. Fuck the fear… it tasted good, but made him hella nauseous.    
  
Gamzee held the struggling, warm, tiny form close to him tightly. Like he was some sort of lusus holding their scared little wiggler. Lusus did that right? He was pretty sure he’d seen it in those early education wriggler feeding shows he’d watched when he’d been all small like.   
  
Not that Goat Dad had ever done and held him when he’d been scared or sad. Nah. As soon as he’d been able to survive on his own, his lusus had been out. Back to the sea and WHATEVER THE FUCK WAS MORE IMPORTANT THEN HE WAS THAT THE SALT WATER FUCKING HELD. He wanted to dive down into those depths and find whatever it had been and MOTHER FUCKING CULL IT IN FRONT OF GOAT DAD. But he couldn’t swim.    
  
An old fear rattled around his pan.   
  
What if his lusus had another wriggler? A sea blood he loved more than him? Yeah, it’d have to be some sick, miracle-less Messiah damned mutant, but… the thought kept him up during the day more than once, now… and before, when he’d not been so sober.    
  
Nowadays he was lucky if he saw his crappy ass Lusus once every quarter sweep. Part of him wanted to cull Goat Dad too. For doing that to him. For leaving him all alone.    
  
But, Karbro… with Karbro he wouldn’t have to be alone anymore. Not ever again…    
  
Not until they both died.    
  
Probably because the drones killed them but…    
  
Fuck if he wouldn’t take A LITERAL SHIT TON OF THEM OUT FIRST.    
  
“Best friend...You can fight me all you motherfucking want. YOU CAN GET YOUR SCREAM AND STRUGGLE ON ALL YOU MOTHER FUCKING NEED TO. But I am your moirail bro and I WON’T EVER LET YOU FUCKING GO”. He brought his hand up, aware that Karkat was speaking to him. His squawk gaper was flapping like the wind and he just looked so motherfucking pissed. He’d been going off for several minutes actually. It was hella cute and he felt those pale feelings well up more. His bro needed him, just like he needed his bro.  _ Mother fucking two way street _ .    
  
Gamzee brought up his hand and gently papped that small face. “Shoosh motherfucker. Shoosh”. He trilled deep in his chest again, making all those pale sounds, as he held his palest bro. He let the shouting fall over him, running along his body like some sort of warm rush that showed he wasn’t alone. The papping was making the shouting calm down though, but that was fine. Karkat was warm and soft and so, so obviously  _ there _ . This high was better than sopor pies.    
  
“It’s time for you to rest my best brother. When you get your wake on… it’ll be all sorts of alright”. He said. The papping was increased and Gamzee sat, so he could get at those horns, squeezing and stroking them tenderly. Making all the feels and all the pale hormones rush through his bro. It was easier than he’d thought it’d be.    
  
Less than 5 minutes later he had the tiny troll out like a light. 

  
  
Gamzee put him down, then started to pack up the shit he thought his moirail might up and want or need. Most of it looked like trash and he could replace it if needed. Mostly he figured he’d upgrade his bro. But he grabbed some of the gifts he or their friends had up and given his best friend, along with some clothes, DVDs and anything he got his remember on about Karkat showing off to him.   
  
It wasn’t a lot of stuff.   
  
He then wrapped up his bro in the biggest fabric square he could find and grabbed his club, before leaving the hive. It’d get looted… but that didn’t up and matter no more.   
  
They weren’t ever gonna come back to it.   
  
He’d got his **decide** on about that.   
  
By the time he got them home, he’d had to do a sickening amount of pale PDA in public, but no one had tried to argue about it with him. He’d gotten a look from one guy, but raising his club had put a STOP TO THAT AT LIGHTING FUCKING SPEED.   
  
It’d taken him almost twice as long to get them all the way back to his hive then for him to get to Karkats. Something that pissed him off. He wanted to motherfucking cull and maim and MAKE ALL THE FUCKING SPECIAL STAR DUST OUT OF ALL THE FUCKERS WHO’D DESIGNED THE TRANSPORTATION TRACKS TIME SCHEDULE.   
  
But he couldn’t. Not without leaving his pale bro all alone and risking some fucker taking him away from him.   
  
But the BAD voices were getting worse the closer he got to their home. It was getting harder and harder for him to control himself… not that he’d ever really knew how to fucking do that shit. Self regulation and restraint weren’t something he’d been up and taught. Taught himself self medication pretty damn well though…   
  
_He’ll mother fucking leave you if you ain’t careful brother. You motherfucking know the little shit. Head harder then a deep sea scuttle beast’s shell._ _  
__  
__But you might cull the mutated bastard if he doesn’t shut the FUCK UP. GOTTA DO SOMETHING GAMZEE._  
  
Maybe that old skill he’d taught himself was it? He couldn’t be wanting to paint with his moirail all the time.  
  
If he kept those thoughts up… he might go and add that miracle red to his walls and then it’d eventually join the forgotten colors. Gamzee wouldn’t be able to fucking replace it after all. His bro was one of a MOTHER FUCKING KIND. There’d be NO TOUCH UP.   
  
He didn’t want that for Karbro.   
  
To join the forgotten.   
  
The sopor and the Faygo. He’d get his learn on about how to use them so he could dim the voices… least until his bro CALMED HIS ASS DOWN AND LEARNED HOW TO FUCKING CHILL. Once Karbro got his chill on, he could reciprocate the papping and pap those thoughts right out of his pan.   
  
Gamzee could hear the Messiah’s saying that that’d work. The carnival was waiting for him and he had all the time in the world. He could bring Karkat with him, once his bro was all calmed up. Together they could cull all of the low blooded fuckers and have some fucking fun.   
  
He could see his tiny mutant using those sickles to help him spread Mirth to all the people who needed to hear it.   
  
“Mother fucking miracles… ” He muttered, before laying his bro on his couch. He then picked up a half empty bottle of Faygo, downing it in one gulp. The purple blood then moved to put away all of his bros things, walking around the trash and shit that covered his floor with ease.   
  
The sickles he hid in a place he didn’t think his bro would ever up and find. In the ceiling where the shouty little bastard couldn’t even reach. The pale feelings were fading and the rage was building. He went to his coon and grabbed some of the blessed slime. He wasn’t EVER GONNA CULL HIS BRO.  
  
He’d just need to find the balance that it all had to up and fucking have. Everything had a mother fucking balance. Take enough to wanna cuddle and not cul,l but not so much he was fucking FRIED.   
  
Fuck… if he took too much, he might just let his bro go back to that hive. _NEVER MOTHER FUCKER. NEVER!_   
  
While the pie was cooking he went to his husktop and started to look up shit for his bro. Clothes, food, DVDs, restraints, pillows, soft shit for piles. Just the basic shit. He paid for the express delivery. Soon it’d all be there. In the meantime he grabbed his pie and sat next to his still sleeping bro.   
  
  
When Karkat started to wake a few hours later, he was in a comfortable haze with the mutant on his lap. Gamzee was holding him nice and soft like. “Hey pale bro… how are you my dude?” He muttered.   
  
“Gam…? Gamzee… fuck. Let me FUCKING GO! Where… is this your hive?!” His bro was getting his wiggle on and trying to mimic a worm in a caw beasts claws. It was mother fucking adorable and Gamzee held him closer.   
  
“This is OUR mother fucking hive now bro… I ain’t never letting you go. Remember?” He muttered. “Gonna stay with you until it’s all over”. Why was it gonna be over again? Oh, yeah. Conscription. It was coming up and they’d cull his bro dead. That made him wanna cry through the sopor and Faygo.   
  
“Gamzee. You need to let me go! FUCK! Let me go! ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE? THIS ISN'T A JOKE. YOU CAN’T FUCKING KIDNAP PEOPLE AND GET HIGH!” The words were cute still and that rage was just so animated. It helped push away the sadness.   
  
“You are mother fucking adorable my bro”. He said, leaning down to nuzzle his face into that sweet smelling hair. “Mother fuck. You need to up and order more of that shampoo you got all in your hair my bro.”   
  
“... I am serious Gamzee! Let me GO! This isn’t how MOIRAILIANCES WORK!”   
  
That startled him. It… it wasn’t? _He is trying to trick you brother. He wants you to let him go so he can get his abscond on_. That made more sense. “Nah Karbro. I like holding you. Let’s get our papping on. Maybe when you calm the fuck down we can jam or some shit”.   
  
Karkat was wiggling more. “NO. DON’T YOU MOTHER FUCKING TOUCH ME. GAMZEE. NO. I SAID FUCKING NO. NO-oOOooo. Fuuucckkk… Gamzee…” It was so easy. He just stroked those horns, adding pressure and papped the mutants face with his other hand. Gamzee could keep his hold easily. The hand that papped also held. To get a better grip, he crossed his left leg over his bros own struggling ones.   
  
“It’s all good best friend. Chill. Do all of your chill my best bro”. The sounds were starting to come naturally. “I ain’t gonna hurt you. I’ll mother fucking prove it to you bro”.   
  
**-Enter: Karkat-**  
  
Sitting there, or rather, being held there and having his body betray him like that… It was hard. One moment he was filled with rage and then it was like something reached in and pulled out all of his ability to be autonomous. It was hard to think and to move and… fuck. Everything was hard, other than laying there in Gamzee’s arms.   
  
He wasn’t sure how much time passed. But it felt like hours by the time his pan cleared enough for him to be self aware. _“Fuck… this feels… so good. Where am I? What the… Gamzee… I am at Gamzee’s… I have to fucking leave… If I stay, they’ll cull us both! FUCK. HOW FUCKING DARE HE?! How…”_.   
  
Karkat felt those cool arms around his middle and he glanced up. Gamzee was asleep. Now was his chance. The mutant moved the other trolls arms as gently as he could, before he searched around for Gamzee’s wallet. He’d need cash to get home and… was that his shit?! FUCK!   
  
He was walking towards the pile of his belongings when he caught the clock on the wall.   
  
10: 17 AM.   
  
“Fuck…”   
  
The sun was out.   
  



End file.
